Definitions to words in danger of falling out of the vocabulary #1 - Snide

Snide

1. adj. It latches onto nouns like butter latches tinily onto the pitted face of toast.
As in, “Television is snide, because it better hides the difficulties of living.” As in, “I was sincere, but my cheeks got too red to control that other person’s head with the palms of my hands—the fur on their ears fell out, and became too much like me.” As in, “The snideness is an easier transition when the camera is there, asking for noise that doesn’t beg for attention—it wants us to pretend we have it begging, or something.”

2. n. It’s a book that has sold well to boys who read to preserve a sense of themselves as readers. Or to make the fantasy of literacy, of
currency passable.
As in, “The snide feels good in my fingers—it’s like thousands of layers of latex house-paint.”

3. adv. Obliquely.
In-order-to-obscure-by-choosing-a-somewhat-more-honest-but-less-direct-answer.
As in, “I talk snide when you ask me how I am, because I’ve been away from home, working in the middle of a pyramid in the city. I tell you I want to end it—which is true—when I really just need a different job.”