The Kikkerland Owlet Kitchen Timer (Assorted Colors), by Walter Benjamin

owl

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1.5 out of 5 stars

This implement (first spied by myself at the Netto Marken-Discount, Zielstattstraße, on a dreary and thirst-streaked morning, April or May of 1917)  of questionable ornamentation made its most recent appearance in the last or next to last kitchen, flowering with the diaphoresis-rich fragrance of simmering kartoffel-water and presided over by the mother of one of my fellow classmates, himself equally stymied by a committee of obtuseness, and demonstrates with precise cuteness—I believe this is the proper coinage—how this most fundamental of all matters should not be essayed. It is, in all, an awful piece of work, a blue devil of cuckolded horns, more vampiric than oracular, at whose strange redundancies you might, however, care to glance, if only to confirm my suspicions, i.e. that not only what the “craftsman” responsible for this square (i.e., perverse) wheel has turned out is nonsense in its orientation to historical time (insofar as I am able to judge the contingencies of its progress), but also that his knowledge of mechanical time, its steady and unidirectional (emphasis added) bewilderment, is also askew. Whether it is honestly or dishonestly askew, I care not to rewind myself far enough to guess.

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